This subject is a sensitive one, and something that all women might be able to relate to regardless if you have had children. It’s that little voice in your head that makes you question who you are as a women and what you deserve from your partner.
Having a baby is a true test on your self esteem. Having a baby is what our body is designed to do, and according to those pictures in magazines and TV shows it really shouldn’t be that hard.
When I was pregnant I felt beautiful. I truly loved watching my body change, and adapt to growing life inside of it. I felt like my body was doing what it was made to do. But one thought always plagued me during those months. The question- What will my body look like as a result of having this baby? What will the post body baby body look like?
I had an emergency caesarean, and as a result of the trauma of trying to get our son out I suffered extensive bruising and swelling. I vividly remember staring at myself in the mirror in hospital a few days after having my son, looking at my black and purple abdomen and groin, hardly being able to walk, and thinking to myself “who could ever love this?”. I remember thinking how can my now husband ever want me again looking like this! How can I possibly begin to feel like an attractive women and be the person I used to be. I felt like damaged goods, and broken.
What truly is amazing is the bodies ability to heal and recover after having a baby. I can honestly say it is only now, in these recent weeks that I feel whole again. I will never look exactly the same as I was before having my son, but I am as close as I will ever be. But in saying that it took me a good 7 months to get to this point. It is true how they say it takes 9 months for your body to make a baby, and it takes that long for your body to recover. It takes time, patience, and self respect to be at peace and happy with your body after having a baby. Now a days when I stand in front of the mirror instead of saying “Who can love this?”, I say “Look what this body can do !!”.
Be patient, and kind to yourself during the healing stage of having a baby. Don’t give yourself unrealistic goals, or put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. One thing I have witnessed and learnt through work is that your baby feeds off your energy. What ever you are thinking, and how ever you are behaving your baby reads that energy and responds to your actions. Try and love yourself, and give yourself time to adapt to this new life as a mother. Let your baby know that it was all worth it, and do it with your actions. Don’t get caught up in the appearances and pressures of society, and instead focus on your new wonderful life as a mother. If day to day you nuture yourself and your baby, then over the months and years you will see the results of your hard work. To me there is nothing more attractive than a woman who values herself and knows her self worth.