Last night I went out for the first time without my son. I was feeling very nervous about it building up to it. The questions of “what if he wakes up?”, “what if he can’t be settled?”, “What if he notices I am not there?”………You get my point. You feel so guilty for leaving them and having a life.
The minute I hopped in the car and left to go out with my husband all my worries left me. I realised that I needed this, and our baby boy will be fine. He honestly won’t be scarred for life being left with his grandma, and he probably won’t miss me at all!!
Having a night out with my husband was so much fun. We went to a comedy show and I haven’t laughed that much in a long time.
Taking those baby steps of leaving your child while you go out and live your life can be hard. Even when you aren’t with them, you are still thinking about them all the time. Parenting is a 24hr job. And that is why it is so important if possible to have someone else watch your child so you can switch off, even if it is for a short time. Caring for a child can consume you, and your brain is constantly buzzing with baby things. I am realising how important it is to have time to myself. Time to enjoy your own interests and enjoyments. Time to spend with your partner and friends. It is important to keep those connections alive and real. Or else you can end up with adult children whom you have lived your life for and then when they leave home, you have forgotten who you are without them. Plus having the child spend time with other people is new exciting for them, and teaches them valuable lessons in life. So it’s a win win for both.
So if you are able to leave your child with someone so you can have some “me” time then jump at the opportunity. Whether it be to have a shower, go for a walk, go to the movies, have dinner, or just have a nap. Take those opportunities to nuture yourself. Having a balance in life makes you a better parent and overall happier. Because it gives you time to put your needs first which as parents we often put second to our children. It doesn’t take long to lose yourself in your children, and forget about what life was like before them.
Jensen woke up this morning he was his normal happy self, like nothing ever happened. He wasn’t distressed, screaming or anything that indicated he was traumatised from night without mummy. That was a massive reassurance, and has now given me confidence to go out there and enjoy some more “me” time.