My son is 8 months old!! I can’t believe it. It felt like a minute ago we were bringing him home from the hospital. Those first few weeks are hectic, and a dazy blur. Then suddenly you manage to have a few hours sleep, and your baby starts smiling at you, and you get this feeling of hope. A feeling like “yes! I can do this!”. I remember feeling a sudden urge of energy, and belief that I can survive the early months of being a mum and everything will be okay. You start learning your baby, and things become a little easier.
Around the 6 month mark I really felt on top of things, and in control of juggling being a mummy and caring for an infant. But something else started to happen. I started getting bored. Now don’t get me wrong. Being a stay at home mum is a busy, non stop job. I was never without things to do, but I started missing work, and that mental stimulation. I started missing adult company, and having adult conversations that don’t always involve analysing all things baby. I came to realise that just because I had a baby, doesn’t mean you stop being your old self. You don’t stop loving the things you used to love and your old life.
When your baby is born it is only natural to absorb all your time and efforts to meeting all your babies needs. Those first few months are consumed with making sure your baby is happy, safe and healthy. The next priority is getting sleep, and just surviving those days and months without all your hair falling out! But once the storm settles, and life becomes a little easier with baby, you start reflecting on things.
What happened to me was that I really started craving a new challenge. And that is why I started missing work, because at work my brain had to constantly be switched on but in a different way. Motherhood switched on another part of my brain, but after six months it was on auto drive. I could change a nappy, or feed Jensen with my eyes closed.
Maybe what I am saying is taboo. As though mothers are meant to be completely content and fulfilled just being a mummy. But I disagree. Humans are complex, intelligent animals and capable to amazing and great things. All I was realising about myself is that I needed more to my day. I needed something that really challenged my old self, and something that would not let me forget all the great things I have learnt in life before I had my son.
That is one of the reasons I started my course. It gave me something else to think about during the day, and I am really loving that. I’m only a few weeks into it, and maybe I have bitten off more than I can chew. But I am up for the challenge!!