Nurse. Mummy. Wife. Life.

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Child Care

I have friends from all walks of life, some have had to return to work when the baby was 3 months old, and some have been stay at home mums till the child goes to school. I believe it is a personal choice, and should be made by the parents, what ever their reasons be.

When I was on clinic for my course late last year I remember very vividly a mother that came in with her little daughter. The child was 13 months old and the mother was asking should she send her child to day care as it will help with her social skills, and becoming a bit more independent. The mother couldn’t afford child care, but wanted to know if it was a bad thing she couldn’t do so.

What the nurse said in response has stuck with me, and will never forget. The nurse basically said “what could your child possibly learn in child care that she can’t learn with you?”. “You spending quality one on one time with your child is all your daughter needs”.

Basically what the nurse was trying to do was make the mum realise that just because she couldn’t send her child to a child care facility, her child was in no way going to miss out on any vital learning opportunities that the mother couldn’t teach her herself.

So before one goes and judges a parent, it may be more helpful to remember that whether it be financial or personal reasons, not all children go to child care. There are good and bad child care facilities, and there are good and bad parenting. Children flourish in all sorts of environments, as long as it is a safe place that gives them the opportunity to grow, learn and play.

I will never judge a parent and their choices, because I know that not everyone thinks the same. Not everyone has the same options in life when it comes to raising their children. I believe there are plenty of different ways to successfully care for a child, and set them up for a wonderful start in life. Given the right environment, a child can reach all their milestones and thrive.

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Self Soothing

My friend recently who has a 4 month old baby was talking about self soothing, and helping her son fall asleep on his own. It got me thinking about my experiences with that, and it occurred to me that I actually never put any real thought into it.

My son who is about to turn 20 months, is a really good sleeper. He was a finger sucker from the day he was born, and still does it to this day to put himself to sleep. You can find thousands of websites that tell you that you should not let your child do this, and give them a dummy instead and blah blah blah. But the way I see it, is that a baby will find something to help comfort and settle themselves, and all of them have their pros and cons. Whether it be the dummy, thumb, blanket, music, cuddling, co sleeping, rocking, pram, car seat, nursing, it is very rare to come across a child that has been sleeping through the night from a young age and not used one of these tactics to help them do so.

Choose your own battle. Figure out what it is you are willing to live with and roll with it. I don’t judge anymore. What ever it takes to keep the peace, and get you some sleep then do it. No one is perfect, and there is no one hard and fast rule to parenting. Don’t worry about what everybody else is saying and doing, and do what is going to best suit your family and their needs. Take comfort in the fact that if you do what you want to, then life will be a lot easier, and most likely involve a happier baby.

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I recently read an excellent blog written by a mother.

Basically what she said was that she is grateful, but life can still suck at times. Her message was that as a mother times can be really hard, and having a vent and whinge about the kids, and being tired etc does not mean you are ungrateful.
I can relate to that. Sometimes you fear judgement if you complain, or aren’t feeling 100%. When you have had a really bad night, feel like crap, and just want to tear your hair out, having a cry or venting your feelings can help. That doesn’t meant I am not grateful for all I have. It just makes me human, and not super mum that everyone expects me to be.
I always try and put things into perspective, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I have never for one minute forgotten how lucky I am, but some days do suck, and it should be okay to say so when it is.