Nurse. Mummy. Wife. Life.

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Elective Vs Emergency

I have 2 children, and both were born via caesarean.
My first was an emergency caesarean, and the second an elective.
I will probably never experience a natural birth, due to my history, and I am more than okay with that. There was a time during my second pregnancy when I was upset that I wouldn’t have a chance to go natural, but I soon let that go, and accepted the reality of the situation.

So with that said I just wanted to share my experience second time round.

I was booked in for an elective caesarean 12th december, but on 7th december I started getting contractions which was actually me going into labour. So it was still an elective caesarean, but with me in labour. Our baby girl was delivered 8th december.

I could not believe how quick the recovery was, and how great I felt this time round. From the moment I walked into the hospital the nurses, and doctors were nothing but caring and professional, and the care I received could not be faulted. I was discharged 2 days later, and was keen to get home and be with my older son and husband.

I guess for me, this amazing experience came as a shock to me because my first birth was so horrible and traumatic, I just resigned myself to the fact that pain and trauma is just part of having a baby. I didn’t think it could be a positive experience that I would one day look back on without feeling pain, or anger.

This second birth was a very healing experience for me, as it was an opportunity for me to heal, and recover from the first birth. It gave me the opportunity to have the experience I deserved, and needed to let go of the past. It gave me answers, and an experience I would wish for all mothers going through a caesarean.

I am by no means saying that people should have caesareans. I am not here to preach caesareans. I am here to say that no matter how you end up having your baby, it should be a happy and positive experience that enhances your life as a mother. It should be a memory that you can reflect on with happiness, and pride. As the saying goes it is not the destination that counts, but the journey.

8 weeks later I am fully recovered, and feeling better than ever. I am amazed at the strength of mothers, because what we have to go through is no joke. 40 weeks of pregnancy, labour, birth, and then recovery. It is a massive achievement, bringing life into this world, and something I am very honoured to be able to have experienced.

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Battle Scars

I recently read an article about a women who was tormented at the beach by strangers for revealing her belly at the beach. She has had 5 children, and as a result has stretch marks, and loose skin. She was brought to tears by the nasty comments 3 people made to her, and decided to do something about it. If you want to read the full article :

Anyways after reading that, it got me thinking about my body. At first I thought how lucky I am to not have any stretch marks as a result of my first pregnancy, but then instantly was brought back to my antenatal appointment I had last week. The doctor and midwife told me as a result of the traumatic previous caesarean I have had that I am probably going to have a lot of scar tissue around my uterus and especially where the incision site is. They said due to my circumstances it is not safe to have a natural labour, and that there may be complications during my elective caesarean due to the scarring.
It goes to show that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Just because someone looks all nice on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t all messed up on the inside. Western culture is so caught up on the superficial things, and forgets that it is what’s on the inside that counts.
Having a baby is a miracle, and to give a woman a hard time because her body isn’t flawless post baby is hard to imagine. But we see it all the time. Woman have so much pressure to get their “pre-baby body” back and to lose the “baby weight”. Why are we so hard on ourselves, and fellow mothers around the world? Why are we not putting that energy and focus on the really important things regarding having a baby. How about asking how mother and baby are doing? How about asking the mother how she is coping? How about asking the mother does she need any help?
I am guilty of being caught up in the weight loss obsession, and being super critical of my post baby body, but I am coming to realise that there is no such thing as the perfect woman. Every woman has battle scars from having a baby, whether they are on the outside or the inside, having a baby has a profound impact on you whether it be mentally, physically or both. It will change you to the core and those battle scars will stay with you for life. You can have the perfect post baby body, but be suffering from terrible incontinence as a result of childbirth. You could have had a drug-free natural birth but have needed 50 stitches due to tearing during labour. You really can’t judge at first glance what a woman has had to go through to have her baby.
There are thousands of women dying everyday from childbirth, and yet there are just as many women out there beating themselves up because they have been left with stretch marks and are ashamed of this fact. If I could say one thing to these amazing women, I would say “Be proud of your battle scars, be proud of the fact that your body was able to create life, and don’t ever let yourself or anybody else for that matter make you feel ashamed of that fact. You are amazing!”.

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Natural or Caesarean?

I have the choice of having an elective caesarean or going natural with my second pregnancy. I have been told it is totally up to me. The hospital will support whatever decision I make.
I am almost at the halfway point of my pregnancy, and I feel like it has gone in a flash. I honestly don’t know where the time has gone.
As the time goes on, I have moments where I think “yes I am going to go natural!”. But then a moment later my fears, and concerns overtake me and I am back at my first thought. I honestly feel I will end up having an elective caesarean. In my heart of hearts, I don’t know if I have the courage to try and go natural and leave it to fate as to what happens.
When I was pregnant with my son, I was so excited about the labour and trying to go natural. I was open minded, and ready to take on the world. I felt like super woman, and that I truly could do it. After all, women have been having babies naturally for centuries- it is what our bodies are designed to do.
But after my experiences, and the pain I had to go through, I am not as brave as I used to be. My fears and anxiety have the better of me now. All I want is for my baby and I to be happy and healthy. I have listed all the pros and cons of natural vs caesarean, and I always end up in the same spot. I always end up in the elective caesarean column.
My decision isn’t set in concrete, and as time passes I may change my mind.
I have till early decemeber to decide. Plenty of time. Maybe by then I would have plucked up the courage to give it a crack, and see if I can do it naturally.
Time will tell.

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Emergency Caesarean


I am yet to discuss my labour and birth story. I haven’t quite felt ready to share those hours of my life.

The months leading up to my son’s birth, I was preparing for the unknown. I knew anything on the day could happen, but as long as my son and I was safe and alive, then it was a success. 

I don’t feel it necessary to go into details, but I will talk about one thing. That thing is my one regret. The one thing I would change if I had it all over again.

My one regret is listening to my obstetrician and letting him talk me into getting induced. I should have known better, and I should have listened to my gut feeling. I knew deep down I should just trust my body, as I had done so the last 40 weeks of pregnancy.

I had a very smooth, and uncomplicated pregnancy. No health issues, or concerns. There was no medical justification for me being induced, but my obstetrician said that since I was full term I should think about getting our son out. I wish I had said I wanted to wait a little longer to see if I will go into labour naturally. Give my body a chance to show what it’s capable of. But I trusted my doctor, and I was so excited to meet the little man……A woman who is full term and over it, is in no state to be making rational decisions.

There will be good and bad stories about being induced, and I’m not here to debate that. The point I’m trying to make is that women do have a choice, and you should never feel pressured or forced to do something you don’t want to do. I did have a choice, and I chose to ignore that little voice inside my head saying “Wait! Your baby will be here in due time!”. Instead I let my doctor convince me it’s the right thing to do, even though there was no medical reason for it.

I know there must be plenty of other women out there who have been through the same thing.

This whole baby making process is complicated, and I don’t think I will ever fully grasp the complexity of what it takes to conceive, birth and raise a child. But what I do know at the end of it all is that I am healthy, my son is healthy, and they were my main goals during pregnancy. So even though I have regrets, I know without a doubt I would go through a million induced labours and emergency caesareans if it meant I had my baby son to have and to hold.