Lisa

Nurse. Mummy. Wife. Life.


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Anxiety & Depression

What a huge heading to attack. I have never been diagnosed with anxiety or depression, but I have certainly without a doubt had moments of both.

I have always considered myself a confident and resilient person. I always felt I had my head screwed on well. That was until I was alone with 3 children, whose husband was away on deployment. That is when I realised that I am not coping very well.

For anyone that is raising children as a single parent, or has a partner that has to go away for periods of time for work- Then I take my hats off to you!! Oh My Goodness!! I can say this with all honesty, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And even when you have family and friends around to call on, I have never felt so alone in my life.

I am not writing this for sympathy or to prove how hard I had it, I am simply sharing this because up until a few months ago before my husband left me for many weeks with a 3 month old, 2 and 3 year old, I thought I was a woman who knew herself pretty well. I thought I had my shit together!!

My depressed moods and feelings of inability to cope led me to the doctors, who referred me on to a psychologist. Next thing I know I am pouring my feelings out to a stranger, and for the first time in weeks, I felt myself again. Because it occurred to me that I was only human. That it was okay to feel completely out of your depths, and to feel like it is all too much to handle. I only saw the psychologist a few times, after a few sessions I felt like I had gotten everything I needed to get off my chest and had nothing more it talk about. She helped me to untangle the thoughts and feelings in my head, and help me understand exactly what it was I was feeling.

My husband returned from deployment shortly after that, and it was then that I told him the honest truth. I was not cut out to be a single mum to 3 little children. Essentially being a navy wife, is living a single mum life when they are away. When they are gone for weeks and months, you need to adjust to life without them- sink or swim. I sunk like a dead weight the last time he went away, and I recognised then that I was never going to be able to get used to this way of life.

People say “oh but that is the life you chose when you married him!”. Yes in one respect I married a man who was in the navy, so obviously with that comes time apart. But what people forget is that I fell in love with my husband because of the amazing man he is, not because he is in the navy. I would have married him regardless what he did for work. So although I knew what I was in for, no one is really prepared for what the future has in store. I was willing to face that challenge if it meant I could be with the man of my dreams.

The main message I am trying to say in this post, is that we are all only human. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but what we all have is limits to how much we can handle. It is okay to put your hand up and say “I am not coping” or “This is too hard!!”. Because I guarantee that someone around you is thinking or feeling the exact same thoughts, but too embarrassed or scared to speak up. I am glad I did speak my truth. Suffering in silence is a bitch, and just not right.

 

 


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I’m back!!

Oh my goodness………I am back!!!

I honestly never thought I would return to this. A lot has happened since I last posted. Another baby, moving interstate, 2 new jobs……My husband and I just love the crazy life!!!

I think I was a bit lost on the direction I wanted to take this website, and to be quite honest, I lost my nerve. I convinced myself that no one really cared about what I had to say, and did what I have to say really matter anyways?……..Looking back, I now know I just had too much going on. I was too busy just trying to stay on top of everything going on inside me and around me.

But with a new found energy and purpose, I can honestly say I have plenty of wonderful things to share with you all. It occurred to me that I have a world of knowledge and insight about parenting from the perspective of a child and family health nurse. I am also a mother of 3 very small children (8 months, 2.5yrs and a soon to be 4 year old).

I plan to share my knowledge and empower my readers. I want to change societies expectations and ideals about parenting. I want to challenge my readers, and hopefully give you all plenty of food for thought.

 

 


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Single Mum

My husband went away for the weekend. On a boys trip.

I have to admit I wasn’t the happiest about him leaving me with our son so he can spend a weekend bonding with his mates over cars. I was envious of him that he can just take off like that. I don’t have that luxury or option anymore. When you are breastfeeding you can’t just take off for a night. I feel my son is too small and little to spend a night without mummy. I honestly don’t know when I will be able to do it. And most the time I don’t know if I really even want to spend a night away from my son. I feel a duty to him, and a responsibility to be there for him. Maybe it is a mummy thing. Or maybe it’s just me. I honestly don’t know. All I know is that if given the choice I would not be able to go a night with out my son. Not just yet.

So back to my point. After having a weekend alone with my son, all I kept thinking of was about all the single parents out there. I have to say that it takes a strong, dedicated, and super special person to raise a child or children on their own. Here I am struggling for a weekend, and out there this is the reality for a lot of men and women. I just have to say “WOW”!! My mother raised me as a single mum for the most part of my life, and I really don’t think I will ever truly understand the sacrifice, and hard work that goes into doing it on your own. I am a mother now, and know that I would do anything for him. But I can’t imagine doing it alone.

So this post is just a big shout out to all the amazing single fathers and mothers out there who really when you think about it are raising a huge percentage of the children today. I am sure everyone of us knows at least one person who was raised by a single parent. It’s all too common these days.

Thank you mum for everything. Thank you for working your butt off to try and give me the best life possible. Thank you for always making me feel like I was worth it all. Thank you for all the sacrifices, and hard work you put into raising me on your own. Thank you for being an amazing single mum!! I love you xxx