Lisa

Nurse. Mummy. Wife. Life.


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Self Soothing

My friend recently who has a 4 month old baby was talking about self soothing, and helping her son fall asleep on his own. It got me thinking about my experiences with that, and it occurred to me that I actually never put any real thought into it.

My son who is about to turn 20 months, is a really good sleeper. He was a finger sucker from the day he was born, and still does it to this day to put himself to sleep. You can find thousands of websites that tell you that you should not let your child do this, and give them a dummy instead and blah blah blah. But the way I see it, is that a baby will find something to help comfort and settle themselves, and all of them have their pros and cons. Whether it be the dummy, thumb, blanket, music, cuddling, co sleeping, rocking, pram, car seat, nursing, it is very rare to come across a child that has been sleeping through the night from a young age and not used one of these tactics to help them do so.

Choose your own battle. Figure out what it is you are willing to live with and roll with it. I don’t judge anymore. What ever it takes to keep the peace, and get you some sleep then do it. No one is perfect, and there is no one hard and fast rule to parenting. Don’t worry about what everybody else is saying and doing, and do what is going to best suit your family and their needs. Take comfort in the fact that if you do what you want to, then life will be a lot easier, and most likely involve a happier baby.


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Grateful

I recently read an excellent blog written by a mother.

https://boganette.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/i-am-grateful-now-fuck-off/

Basically what she said was that she is grateful, but life can still suck at times. Her message was that as a mother times can be really hard, and having a vent and whinge about the kids, and being tired etc does not mean you are ungrateful.
I can relate to that. Sometimes you fear judgement if you complain, or aren’t feeling 100%. When you have had a really bad night, feel like crap, and just want to tear your hair out, having a cry or venting your feelings can help. That doesn’t meant I am not grateful for all I have. It just makes me human, and not super mum that everyone expects me to be.
I always try and put things into perspective, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I have never for one minute forgotten how lucky I am, but some days do suck, and it should be okay to say so when it is.


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Friends

Quality Not Quantity.

It is not how many friends you have. It is about having those few friends in your life that you can truly connect with and be your true self with.

I have recently been thinking a lot about the friends I have in my life, and how things have changed since having children. Having children changes your availability and priorities. Suddenly those delicious cocktail girls nights aren’t so important. Instead it is trying to figure out what is going to get your baby to sleep that matters.

It is very easy to drop off the radar when it comes to your social life after having a baby, and turning down invites. I always said before my son came along that having a baby wouldn’t change me, and he will just have to come along for the ride. I was in for a big shock, and it took some time to realise that if you want a happy baby, then you have to surrender to them running the show for a while. They are not babies forever, but they need you, and no mother can be in two places at once.

So thinking about friends, there is a shift and change when a baby comes along. I remember before having babies, having no interest in hanging out all the time with friends with babies. I wanted to be out partying and tanning on the beach. I wanted to go shopping, and go out for dinners. I had no interest in listening to someone talk about potty training, or breastfeeding, etc. And now after having a baby those are now the things I want to talk about and analyse. I am not saying I have dumped all my non-baby friends, but I have found myself naturally gravitating towards friends who do have children. People I can be brutally honest with and they get it straight away, and hopefully have some tips to help.

I have some wonderful friends around me, and not all have children. I am grateful for all their love and support. I guess since having a baby, my time is precious. “Me time” is limited, but as the kids get older it will increase. And hopefully through it all my friends will still be there on the other side.


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Welcome baby girl!

I feel like it was yesterday I posted my last blog. The time has gone so fast, and so much has happened.

We welcomed our daughter early december. I was booked in for an elective c-section, but went into labour the week before so had a c-section unexpectedly. She just didn’t want to wait.

She is 8 weeks old now, and has turned life into instant chaos!! I had no idea what having 2 little kids would really be like. You just can’t prepare yourself for what is in store. I forgot how much time a newborn takes up. You think they just eat and sleep, but I forgot all the holding, settling, and crying that was involved. Can be a bit tricky when you have an 18 month old son about to have a tantrum cause he wants something and you are hoping he will understand you when you say “hold on a minute”.

I have resigned to the fact that these next 12 months are going to be a blur, and chasing my tail will be the norm. I have let go of any big expectations except to make sure that both children are fed and alive at the end of the day. But through all the chaos, and unpredictability there are some really happy and beautiful moments. Like when your daughter first smiles at you, or when your son learns a new word. I always take a moment each day to count my blessings, and enjoy the little things, because I know that those are the things that really count. Not vacuuming the house, or having a pile of dirty laundry is not what is going to define me as a mother, or how good a day I have had. What will be a good day is if I have had the opportunity to give both my children some quality time with their mother, and learn something from one another.

I am hoping to get back into the blogging, and share my journey of having 2 under 2!


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Where have I been?

I have to apologise for my sudden absence from my blog.

The reason being is MORNING SICKNESS!! From 6 – 14 weeks I had terrible nausea (and the occasional vomit). I felt so uninspired to write, or really doing anything other than lie on the couch. It consumed me, and was 24/7. I knew if I got on this keyboard, all would do is write about how sick and depressed I am about it. And that would have been no fun for anyone.

So fast forward to now. I am 15 weeks, and feeling great. The nausea cloud has lifted and I feel back to my old happy self!! Yayyyyyy!!

Anyways, now that I am back in the game, the posts should start rolling out. I have so much I want to write about. I feel like I have so much to learn, and so much to figure out now that a second baby is on the way. I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who have been through the same thing, and I have already heard many different opinions and thoughts on having “2 under 2”. Looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hearing yours.