Nurse. Mummy. Wife. Life.

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Try not to compare.


My little daughter Olivia is growing up so fast. She will be 1 in two months, and I feel like it was yesterday I brought her home from the hospital in her little tiny onsie. She is my little bubble of energy that keeps me on my toes.

Before she was born I thought I had this mummy job thing worked out. My son Jensen, was a little text book baby, who honestly was the easiest going little boy. Play, sleep and eat. He was good at all of them. I was confident, and excited about baby number 2.

Then Olivia came along, and shook me to my core. She wasn’t doing the things I was expecting her to do, and was nothing like Jensen was. She wouldn’t sleep at night, and if I wasn’t holding her or near her, she would cry for me. She was so tiny, and so damn cute and so exhausting. And unlike your first child, I didn’t have the luxury of devoting all my time and energies on her. It was shared between two babies.

Please don’t think this is a post about all the negatives. Quite the opposite. I am writing this to let people know what I have learnt with my second. What Olivia has shown and taught me about my abilities, and strengths and the love a mother has for her children.

Olivia is 10 months now, still wakes at night, and still loves me holding her all the time, but that is what I am here for. It is tough at times, and I wake up some morning looking like something out of a horror movie, but that is the beautiful thing about your children. They can drive you mental one minute, and make you laugh the next. Olivia can literally drive me to exhaustion, but then come the morning I will walk into her room and the way her face lights up and smiles when she sees me is priceless. Those moments make it all worth it, and so grateful that I am her mummy.

It is so easy to compare your children, and assume you know what is in store. But if I could make one suggestion, it would be to keep an open mind, and remember that each child is different in their own special ways. Whether you have one or ten children, each one comes with their challenges and blessings.

I am still learning how to be a mother to two children. It isn’t something that comes naturally at first. It takes trial and error, and lots of tears and tantrum from us all. I think you never master it, because your children are ever changing and growing, and reaching new milestones. You just have to learn to be flexible and roll with it. Don’t get comfortable, because before you know it, they will change that script on you.

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Separation Anxiety

Experts say that around the 9 month mark, babies start experiencing separation anxiety. My son was spot on with his timing. It was like overnight he decided he couldn’t be apart from me.

The funny thing is my son only gets upset and cries when we are home. When we are home he has to be literally right next to me or held. If I for instance leave the room while he is busy playing, he must have an internal sensor alarm and will start crying and come searching for me. But when we go out, or when I leave him with his father or grandparents for instance he never gets upset. It is weird that I can wave him goodbye at his grandparents and he is happy smiling, but if I leave him for a minute to go to the toilet he gets upset!?!?

I know it is a phase, and it is them learning who the people are around them, and the fact that even though he can’t see me, he knows I still exist. It can be a bit exhausting when he is hanging on to your leg for dear life, and you are trying to make yourself some breakfast. But I honestly do love all the cuddles I am getting, and the fact that I am forming a strong bond with him. I am happy to be the one to comfort him, and as a parent it is my job to make sure he feels safe and secure in his environment.

Maybe what I am experiencing isn’t separation anxiety. Maybe he just likes to be held by me, and I am spoiling him? Who knows? Does it really matter? When he gets upset I am going to do something about it. One day he will be too busy for cuddles with his mummy, so ¬†am going to steal as many as I can.

Has anyone else experienced this? What worked for you?